Day 3 - Turning Point

I think today is a turning point for all of us. Isabella is happily playing with Eddie's Spiderman watch. I had forgotten how cool it was, children at this age, playing, amusing themselves with the simplest of things. She is such an inquisitive little girl, taking everything in, her eyes noticing everything, watching intently, each of us, what we do, what we say, she seems more interested and curious about her new surroundings than intimidated, as I feared she would. She is indeed a happy little girl. Last night, Eddie had her cackling with laughter as he was dancing about, acting like a clown which we've all witnessed, tickling her, making funny sounds. He is such a natural at this, being a big brother - and boy did it warm my heart to hear my children laughing. My children. Wow.

She is doing well. She sleeps well at nights, 8-10 hour stretches. Wakes occasionally, soothes herself - she sucks her thumb(s), and goes back to sleep. She takes 3 nine ounce bottles and eats congee, and soft solids at the table with us. We gave her some fruit at breakfast this morning - cool to watch her expression experiencing the new foods. We're sure she ate no solids and had no experience with spoon feeding prior to now. But she's a fast learner and tonight was opening wide for the noodles Bill was feeding her with his chopsticks. Already in just a little over 2 days, she is looking better, with better color, smiles, laughs, and plays quietly at the table at meals. Can I say how helpful it is to have Eddie here with us. He tries so hard and is so good with her. Tonight at Dinner, Bill and I actually got to eat at the same time, while Eddie was feeding her congee. Yesterday at the pool and again last night, Bill had her on her feet, cruising, holding onto the bed or Bill, taking steps, shaky, but taking steps. She is able to roll over, sit herself up, and is doing more of that today, but wasn't moving much on her own the first day.
I rarely openly disclosed, mostly out of embarassment or shame for what I thought most would think was less than appropriate feelings, but so often through this long, arduous process - I questioned whether or not this was the right thing to do. Not knowing what to make of the abivalence I just could not suppress. Was that ambivalence an internal cue of what would be the biggest mistake of my life, or just fear of the unknown? Would not "going through with this" end up being that mistake? Surely, the length of time we all have had to wait, think, re-think, wait some more, and my usual way of over-thinking just about every situation in my life, has contributed. Though, as I watch my husband, my son, emerge over the past 2 days, bonding, working, trying so hard to care for this new little creature in our lives, I start to remember why we did this to begin with. Then today, only the 2nd day after what I assume has to be a most traumatic experience for her, I get a clear, distinct message from Isabella that she is happy to be with us - I know for sure now, that this was the right decision, that this was our path, and she was always ours. She completes us. (ok, it wasn't entirely the message from Isabella, but the 2 hour discussion, Bill and I had over 2 boxes of tissues in the middle of night while Eddie and Bella were sleeping.)



At breakfast in the hotel, we get a table by the window this morning. This fisherman? on this boat has come down the Pearl River every morning with this giant net. What is he fishing for? Bill says the fresh catch on tonight's menu. Ewwww. Let's just say the river isn't exactly crystal clear..